I Hate Super Cuts (12:00AM EST) Jack
Yet I keep going back to them for haircuts... While me and Monica were
going out, she cut my hair so I didn't have to pay to get butchered every couple
of months. The other day I notice that my hair is getting pretty shaggy, and
it's about time for a trim. One thing I do love about getting my haircut is the
feeling of some hot broad running her fingers through my hair. I would totally
say that my bigger head is an erogenous zone, and anytime a hot Asian
hairdresser is fondling me, I find it hard not to pitch a tent under that thing
they throw on you.
In other boring news I got all my shit together for school and after
September 1st, I will officially have no life at all. Don't expect too many
posts cause my second home will now be the classrooms over at STCC. I'll be
going to school Mon thru Thursday taking some of the most boring classes ever.
Also the chances of any of these classes having a single girl that is somewhat
doable are slim to fucking none. I guess It'll all be worth it when I graduate
Magna Cum Laude on some broads titties
Driving down a country
road, a man sees a sign for "St. Mary's Brothel and Convent." He
chuckles, and keeps going. But after seeing a few more signs, he realizes he has
to know what goes on at a whorehouse run by nuns. So he takes the turn, and
parks. Welcomed inside, a nun greets him.
"I'm Sister Superior of St. Mary's Holy Brothel and Convent. Are you interested
in our services?"
The man is a little flustered, but chokes out that he would indeed...but what
exactly can he get?
She replies, just loud enough to be heard "It's $100 to be fucked."
The man quickly goes to his wallet...because how often does one get to sleep
with a nun for a hundred bucks. The money in hand, the sister superior leads him
up down a few hallways, covered in pictures of Christ, and Mother Mary, and the
like. She gets to a hall with a few rooms on each side, and asks what kind of
girl he would like.
"Blonde?"
"Right this way," she replies, and ushers him to the last door.
As he goes through the door, she shoves him, and he falls off the back steps of
the building. As he picks himself up, he hears the door slam and lock. He
screams for her to let him back in until he's blue in the mouth. As he finally
turns around, he sees a sign:
"You've been fucked by St. Mary's Brothel and Convent!"
Sometimes when I'm bored I
take a nice little walk through the park... Some days I flirt with the girls
walking their dogs and other times I catch something like this!
A man walks into a bar and sits down for a drink. The woman
sitting next to him couldn't help but notice the sad look on his face as he
orders a drink. She proceeds to ask him "What's wrong"
"My wife left me," the man replies.
"Oh, that is so sad, I am sorry to here that," says the woman.
"Why did she leave you?"
"Well, to be honest, she said that I was too kinky."
The woman then says "Well, you won't believe this, but just last year my
husband left me, for the very same reason. What do you say we finish these
drinks, head back to my place, and see what happens?"
The man agrees, And when they get back to her place, she tells him to make
himself comfortable and proceeds to the bedroom. She decides to make the best of
it, and pulls out her finest kinky outfit. Black leather boots that go to her
knees. Crotch less panties, and a bustier in black patent leather. A spiked
collar and long black gloves. She ties her hair back in a tight pony tail, grabs
her whip and heads for the door.
As she walks out she sees the man just opening the door to leave. "Where
are you going?" she asks. "I thought we were going to have some
fun."
The man replies , "I already fucked your dog and shit in your purse. I'm
out of here."
A blonde is
roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her
lycra shorts, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. She decides that
she really needs a haircut.
She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and
says, "I need a haircut." The hairdresser checks her out and says,
"OK, sit down and take off your headphones."
"No way!" shouts the blonde, "If I take off my headphones, I'll
die!"
"Then I can't give you a haircut," replies the hairdresser.
So the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She
sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, "I need a
haircut... but you can't take off my headphones or I'll die!"
The hairdresser looks at her a little weird, but says, "OK, no problem.
Have a seat." So the blonde sits down and the hairdresser comes up behind
her, and when she isn't looking, he rips the headphones off her head.
Suddenly the blonde starts choking, and soon turns blue in the face, then keels
over and dies right there in the salon chair.
The hairdresser is a little freaked by this. He leans over and cautiously
listens into the blonde's headphones and he hears...
"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."
Here's Some XXX Sites For You All
- inthevip -
Mega Cock Cravers
- CumFiesta - Mike's Apartment -
Here's a list of sexual positions
that I came across.....
Anal Boot [n] When you take
a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and
then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth
of the loser of a bet or Drinking game.
Australian Death Grip [n] The act of grabbing a woman by the
haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed.
A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for
wagering among friends.
Ball Sacking [v] stretching of the scrotum over the face of someone
sleeping or passed out, having a picture taken and posting it on the internet
Beef Curtain [n] The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like
Play-doh for an hour or so of jimmy-jam (aka Beef Drapes, Meat Tarp, Piss
Flappers, Quim Nuts, Vertical Bacon Sandwich).
Click
here for the rest of the list!
An extremely shy and very modest
man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his
digestive system upset.
Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the
latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled
his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw
them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started
yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in
a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had
watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What was that all
about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied: "I think I
just beat the shit out of a ghost"
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
(Huskies) chemistry midterm. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it
as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools
off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are
added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So
which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman
year—"…that it would be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.:--
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations with her, then #2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and will not freeze.
The student Received the only "A" given.
Here's a little story from a 'cam girl' called Ashley. She's pretty hot and
I'd let smoke my pole if she was actually still in this country. She's from the
same state as me, so I'm sure I'll eventually get into her pants.
How To Get in a Girl's Pants
I'm Ashley and I'm not easy. I don't think that's why Jack asked me to write
this article, but it's probably important to know since this is me writing about
how to get into a girl's pants. Anyway I was told that I wasn't easy by a pretty
good source and I trust his judgment. Naturally I'd have my panties off for Jack
in a second, but who wouldn't? Seriously.
Something important to remember is that most girls are just as superficial as
guys are, so seriously - if you're completely busted, your options are probably
limited. I have problems with kissing ugly guys - meaning I can't bring myself
to do it. And if I can't kiss a guy, I'm probably not going to fuck him. My
advice would be to focus on girls that are at about the same level of
attractiveness that you are; they're already used to what they're seeing in the
mirror every day and probably won't have a problem with you.
Once you've proven yourself able to actually get a reasonably attractive girl
that you want to have sex with, the best thing to do is not turn into a complete
jackass. That point should be obvious, but you'd be surprised at how many guys
fuck that one up. Bear in mind that despite what you may think, her sole purpose
in life is not to service you. If she says that she doesn't want to have sex,
don't say "please" because it probably won't change her mind and don't
throw a temper tantrum. Girls find that a serious turnoff. However, if she's
just a cocktease, she doesn't deserve your respect anyway and you should drop
her off on the nearest street corner. That's just my opinion.
It's also important to remember that being sensitive isn't as important as one
would think. I personally tend to think any guy I meet who is overly sensitive,
attentive, and all that stuff that's supposed to characterize the perfect male,
is gay. So don't fall into the sensitivity trap. I mean you should compliment
her and treat her well absolutely - but empathizing with absolutely every aspect
of her feminine issues sets off gaydar in almost any girl's mind.
So basically, to recap - don't waste your time on cockteases or girls that are
clearly too good for you, don't turn into a complete jackass, and don't act gay
- those things basically guarantee you'll be sleeping alone. I'm done.
Click
here for more girls getting fucked on the Bang Boat!
Click
here for more girls getting fucked on the Bang Boat!
Well, that's all for another couple of days.
Thanks for reading!! Oh
yeah, don't forget to check out Teen Rave where the hottest teens pose in the
best galleries!
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