Thursday July 17 - 2003

Posted By: IWANG Jack

Posted: 7/16/2003 7:27:00 PM

Comments: 0

Longest Update Ever (12:00AM EST) Jack
Since I'm only doing one update per week now, I figure I might as well make them HUGE updates so you don't go through Porn withdrawals while I'm out fucking future Porn stars. I'm increasing the Porno by over 100% and that should keep you satisfied until I decide to power up the computer and post the finest babes on the internet. You guys are lucky that I'm nice enough to weed through the skanks, whores, and crusty broads so you don't have to.

It's been a busy week for me, and as the summer starts to draw to a close it's only going to get busier. I've got school starting up in the fall and me the woman are going to be starting our own business. It's actually going to be legitimate, and not involved in the XXX. I'm wicked lucky that I found such a smart chick, otherwise I'd be living in my crappy apartment building until my pubes started turning gray. Maybe if we strike it big, I'll finally buy a new bed and get rid of the squeaky futon I've got now. I know the people underneath my room would really appreciate that.

So I got a lot of emails about me getting my girl to participate in a threesome. Most of them went something like this..

"Dude! How did you get your girlfriend to go down on another girl?! Tell me your secret!"

"Hey man, that's awesome you scored another girl, now how can i convince my girlfriend to do the same?"

"How can I get my cousin to join in with me and my niece?" Joe Bob Alabama, USA

Since I'm such a nice guy, and I love all you IWANG readers so much, I'll post my detailed guide to fucking another girl while your girlfriend watches and / or participates. It's just a few simple steps so read carefully.

1. Now you probably know your girlfriend better than me (unless I picked her up at a bar some night) so if she's more on the prudish side you're better off just dumping her and picking up some whore you can meet off the internet. Signs that your girlfriend is prude... She doesn't let you blow a load on her face, she doesn't swallow, or she doesn't even go down on you. These are all signs that your girlfriend is a prude, and will not be to keen on having another pussy grinding in her face. If you're actually with this type of girl for more than a month, you're a fuckwad and probably should not be reading this site anyways.

2. Now that we've weeded out all the pussy-whipped chuckleheads it's time to get down to business. Instead of telling your girlfriend that you "want to fuck two girls at the same time" why don't you start out with something like "damn woman you'd look mighty fine making out with another girl!" This is best said with a black accent and a Barry White type voice. If you can't do that, than just try and sound as cool as fucking possible. If your girlfriend is down for the idea, she'll say something like "Really? I've always wondered what another girls' pussy juice would taste like. When can we start?!" You probably wont be so lucky, but keep dropping hints and judge her reaction. By the end of the week you should going out to dinner and looking for prospective girls to join in.

3. Remember your girlfriend is going to have the final say on the girl, so make sure you pick out girls that aren't Porn star hot. If your girlfriend starts to feel threatened she's not going to be opening her legs for anything except the jaws of life. Keep your picks in your range and everything should go smoothly. By my calculations 99% of girls are lesbians in waiting so you should have no problem finding a girl that will want to fuck both of you.

4. Now after the threesome you're going to be feeling awesome, and you're girlfriend might be feeling... Well who the fuck cares how she's feeling? You just banged two chicks at the same time and didn't even have to be sneaky about it! But there are some bad things that could happen so here's a quick rundown of the potential cons.

a. You Get Left Behind - It may happen that the two girls are having such a great time that they forget all about you and your little pecker. To remedy this situation just knock one of them out and give the other one a healthy dose of the anal. She'll respect your penis now!

b. You Lose All Respect - This actually happens a lot. As guys we want to fuck whores and marry virgins. So when our girlfriends do something "naughty" we lose all respect for the girl. It's no big deal though, there's plenty of other girls we can fuck while she gains that respect back.

c. She Gets Jealous - Maybe your girlfriend thinks you spent a little too much time with the other girl, or maybe the other girls gives better head, either way girls get jealous and it never shocks me how many times the girlfriend will regret the whole thing. Nothing you can really do about this except give her a smack and tell her to run along.

d. The Relationship Ends - She may realize that she's not the right type of girl for you, and decide to leave. Awwww.. boo fucking hoo!

Holy shit that was a lot of typing... If you actually read though that whole thing you deserve some good old fashioned Porno! Get your tissues ready, cause here it comes!

Tons more free porno right here!

Ohh man my buddy hooked me up big time with this party. He knew all these girls from some modeling shoot were going to be at the club and he said I had to come by. I loaded up the cars and hit it hard...rolling deep and going straight to the vip like we always do. The beats were pumpin and the girls were off the chain. They were partying it up ordering Dom and Grey Goose like it is water. They were all over each other in the vip and everyone was going crazy. Tits flashing, licking nipple, upskirt flashes, kissing..it was off the meter. These girls wanted each other real bad. Once they got a little comfortable things really started to get interesting. There was so much pussy eating that i thought i was at a Chinese restaurant. They were even tonguing each others assholes which is something really special if you have never seen that before. The night just was off the hizzo and you just have to watch the video clip to see what i mean!

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party."

The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes."

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes to work and finds the same guy waiting for him on the door-step. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick, I need Blue Ice" (muscle pain relief).

The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive."

The guy says, "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm."

Pharmacist: "What? What happened?"

Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion."

Pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what?"

"The girls never showed up!"

Sometimes I like a broad with small little boobies, cause you know more than a handful is a waste. This girls has some tiny titties, but the rest of her is fucking perfect!

A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."

I STARTED THIS SEARCH lookin for some new glassware and getting some wraps when this cuttie comes up from behind the counter. she was totally cool and was joking with me for awhile. i could see that she was kinda liberal so i just busted out the question of some action for loot like nothing. at first she said no way for the amount of money i offered. so what did i do? offer more money and get my groove on!


CLICK RIGHT HERE TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING!

As much as I love the young girls with the tight pussies, there is just something wicked hot about a mom. Everyone has met a MILF in there life, but this right one right here is the hottest I've ever seen!

More of the hottest moms right here!!!

This blonde chick right loves to suck and fuck all night long! Check out these exclusive pictures for the full fucking package!

Here's some sites that I really like!

- Ernie's House of XXX - Orsm's XXX Page - Free XXX Movies - My Fuckin Wife - Tucker Max

Have you signed up for the IWANG forums yet? If not you're missing out on 1000's of pictures that never make it to the front page! Check it out, you wont be disapointed!

Are These Broads Hot or Not??

Sometimes when I'm bored I'll hop on Hot or Not and check and see if any girls want to meet me. Since I'm one hot mother fucker I get a lot of replies, but most of them are from farm animals.. Here's just a small sample of the pigs that want to fuck me.

Can't Really Tell - I can't really be sure if this girl is hot or not, but I'll take my chances and say not. I did get to talk with her and this was our AOL conversation.

iwangworld: so you want to get together when you're in Amherst?
astarisfalling9: sure
iwangworld: awesome
iwangworld: you fuck on a first date?
astarisfalling9: haha funny
astarisfalling9: later
iwangworld: haha
iwangworld: cunt

Fat Ass - Half of this girls' picture is cut off which can only make me assume that she has a fatter ass than a really fat chick. She's also covering half her face... Hmm I'd have to give her a big fat not.

Whore Girl - Now this is my type of girl! Skin tight shirt, nice tits, and an awesome fuck me face! Of course she lives like 2 hours away from me so the chances of my manhood finding her holiest of holies is slim to none. Maybe I can get her to strip on cam though.

Photoshopped Tits - For some reason this girls tits are photoshopped out. It's probably because the Hot or Not mods are keeping the site work safe, but I'd like to think it's because she has some sort of rash on her tits which make any one nauseous if they see them. Yes I do have a very fucked up mind.

Fucking Ugly - The title says it all.

Dyke - This picture just screams DYKE.

Here's a set with one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen! Just check out these pictures cause you'll know exactly what I'm talking about!

- Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection -

- Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection -

- Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection - Perfection -

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I'm doing ?"

"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"Correct," says the doctor.

He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now", he says.
"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That's right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."

Well, that's all for this post... Don't forget to send me some emails, instant messages, and check out my wishlist!! I'm off to go watch 'May' and hopefully fuck the girl downstairs! Have fun, and always double wrap it when you're with a whore!!!