Now flash forward to the current day. The site is again for sale with a lowered price tag of $5000. Andrew again contacts with a renewed interest in the site. He asks for all the same information again, and I give out all that same information again. Granted with a little less enthusiasm, because of what happened last time. So yesterday I was bored and was surfing around the Crazy Fucked Up Shit message board. While checking out some of the posts I came across these.....

Someone Help! Quick! - It looks like my buddy Andrew's hosting was going to get cancelled because he couldn't pay his hosting bill for the month. This is the same cat who was all of a sudden going to be able to come up with 5K to buy my domain. I should have known that Andrew was a sketchy dude the first time, but I guess I just made the same mistake again. 

A lot of girls have asked me to translate some sayings that guys use on a daily basis. And since it's in everyone's best interest to keep women happy... here goes!

"Let's take your car." 
Really means.... "Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas." 

"Woman driver." 
Really means.... "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me." 

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." 
Really means.... "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white." 

"It's a guy thing." 
Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." 

"Can I help with dinner?" 
Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?" 

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." 
Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. 

"Good idea." 
Really means.... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating." 

"Have you lost weight?" 
Really means.... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill." 

"My wife doesn't understand me." 
Really means.... "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them." 

"It would take too long to explain." 
Really means.... "I have no idea how it works." 

"I'm getting more exercise lately." 
Really means.... "The batteries in the remote are dead." 

"I got a lot done." 
Really means.... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture." 

"We're going to be late." 
Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

More to come later!!!!

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So yesterday I posted the 9 types of girlfriends that you'll probably run into at some point in your life. I got a shit load of emails from broads asking that I do a list of boyfriends for their reading enjoyment. And since I like to make the female readers somewhat happy, here you go.

    "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" 
    Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup 
    Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts 
    Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy 

Old Man Grumpus 

    "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." 
    Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk 
    Advantages: Stays put; predictable 
    Disadvantages: Royal pain in the a** 

Flinchy 

    "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." 
    Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you 
    Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled 
    Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle 

Bigfoot 

    "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." 
    Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb 
    Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled 
    Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig 

Lazybones 
    "Zzzzzz" 
    Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict 
    Advantages: Well rested; easy target 
    Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams 

The Sneak "Who, me?" 

    Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a B***h 
    Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt 
    Disadvantages: May be having time of his life 

Ace of Hearts 

    "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" 
    Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster 
    Advantages: Perpetually aroused 
    Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused 

The Dreamer 

    "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--" 
    Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind 
    Advantages: Tells good stories 
    Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus" 

Mr. Right 

    "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" 
    Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy 
    Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer 
    Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction

There you go ladies... I hope you're happy.

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Whenever you're dating some one most of the time your girlfriend is going to break some of your basic rules. I've compiled a list of rules that all girls should study and follow to a T.

2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red. 

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall. 

4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt. 

5. Shopping is not fascinating. 

6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking. 

7. Unless the answer is yes. 

8. In which case, can he videotape it? 

9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes. 10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

Saturday night we ventured out into the ice storm to hit up Mohegan Sun. I swear to god that I love that place so fucking much. Whether it's the free beers, blackjack tables, or just the whole atmosphere, it's totally my happy place. When we first got there we ordered some grub and sat down at the quarter slots. We each put in ten bucks and by the time food was ready, we had won $100. It was a nice way to start the night. We left probably 5 hours later with more cash that I came in with, so it was a great night.

On Sunday we basically did nothing all day long and it was perfect. It gave me time to watch some football, eat pizza, and just hang out. I know it sounds boring, but it was exactly what I needed. I wish everyday was a Sunday.

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Measures of "Guyness"

Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter.  As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing a infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.  You decide to:

a) Present it to the President of the United States.
b) Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
c) Take it apart.

As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

a) Innocence.
b) Idealism.
c) Cherry bombs.

When is it okay to kiss another male?

a) When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
b) When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
c) When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

What about hugging another male?

a) If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
b) If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in this case, you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food trapped in this male's trachea! I am not in any way aroused!")
c) If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that (1) He is legally within the basepath; (2) Both of you are wearing protective cups; and (3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.

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Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word: fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter F, fuck is the only word that is referred as the F-word. It's the one magical word.
Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Fuck as most words in the English language is derived from German.
The word "Ficken", which means to strike.
In English fuck falls in to many grammatical categories.
As a transitive verb, for instance: Johnny fucked Shirley
As an intransitive verb: Shirley fucks

Its meaning is not always sexual.
It could be used as an adjective, such as: John is doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb: Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb in hencing an adjective: Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun: I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word: abso-fucking-lutely.
Or, in-fucking-credible.
And, as almost every word in a sentence: fuck the fucking fuckers.

Check out some more meanings of FUCK here!

Old Yeller 
    "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-a** no-talent son of a b***h! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" 
    Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell Advantages: Pays attention to you 
    Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans 

Sickly 
    "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite." 
    Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy 
    Advantages: Predictable 
    Disadvantages: Contagious 

The Bosser 
    "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." 
    Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom 
    Advantages: Often right 
    Disadvantages: Often right, but so what? 

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied 
    "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" 
    Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey 
    Advantages: Easily soothed 
    Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed 

Wild Woman out of Control 
    "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." 
    Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out 
    Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys 
    Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs 

Huffy 
    "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." 
    Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly 
    Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you 
    Disadvantages: You will have no friends 

Woman from Mars 
    "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." 
    Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic 
    Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable 
    Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud 

Ms. Dreamgirl 
"I am utterly content with you just the way you are. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now!" 
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous 
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited 
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you

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Sometimes the best part of my day is taking a nice long relaxing shit. I'll get my favorite magazine, settle down with a smoke and just chill for the next 20 to 30 minutes. I don't have to worry about the phone ringing, the girlfriend nagging, or anything else in the world. As we all know, you can't always be in YOUR bathroom when the urge to drop bombs comes over you. The worst is when you're in the workplace and have no other option than to use the community bathroom. Luckily for you, I've come up with a list of the different types of office shits that you can get away with.

ESCAPEE.
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE).
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH.
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME.
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

For the rest of the office shits, click here!

Since I'm going to be getting hitched soon I thought I'd post the Married Man's Scoreboard. I'm sure most of you people that read this site are horny teenage boys, but there's has to be one of two of you that has found your one and only true love.

Don't Stop Reading Now!! There's plenty more here!

And finally one last thing before we get to more porno.... a little song I like to call....

I'm Glad I'm a Man

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese
I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to north, south, east or west.

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.

I don't go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
and when you ask why get all bitter and snurly.

Finish the song here!!

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It's already the middle of November, and Thanksgiving is only a couple weeks away. It's going to be nice to eat a shitload of turkey and watch some football games. The day of Turkey Day me and the woman are taking a little trip to the big city to check out some Broadway play. I put up a fight about going, but it should be a good time anyways.

Yesterday was a big day for me. Attack of the Clones came out on DVD, and since I'm a huge nerd I went and picked it up at Blockbuster. I'll probably get to watch it tonight after I get out of class, but I wont have time to actually check out the extras until this weekend probably. It seems like there's not enough time to do anything lately. Between eating, shitting, fucking, working, and studying, I'm left with about three hours of decent sleep and maybe an hour to just relax. It'll be nice once the winter breaks comes along, but I might be taking a winter session class, so there goes my free time then.

The other day I was over the woman's house, and for some reason they were having a family weigh in, and I hopped on the scale. Now three years ago when I moved up here I was a good 175 pounds. Granted I'm pretty tall, so I was kind of skinny. The last time I weighed myself I was something like 200 pounds, which is perfect for my 6'3'' body. When I got on the scale yesterday it read a whopping 220 pounds!! Now that is fucking fat my friends. I seriously have to start going to the gym again... I guess all those days of eating Tostitos and eating McDonalds for lunch are finally catching up with me. If anyone can send over a good diet and workout plan for some one who is looking to lose some fat and gain some muscle, the woman would appreciate it greatly.

Oh and one more request.... I'm looking for Scarface on DVD, and if anyone out there has it for sale let me know. I tried getting it from Amazon, but it looks like I wont be able to go that route. If you want to sell your copy just shoot me over an Instant Message, and I could pay pal you the money today.

So last night after I came home from the woman's house I wasn't really tired and decided to fire up the internet connection. I surfed on over to Webcam Girlfriends. I was totally amazed at what some of these broads were doing on cam. I stayed on for like a couple of hours and some of these girls were still going at it. Good thing they have every single picture archived for future viewing! Here's just a small sample of what you can find.

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Sometimes when I'm too lazy to post stuff on the main page I update the members section. There you'll find full on porn, and none of this content stuff. I usually post over there at least once a day. So totally check it out if you're bored.

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Yesterday I did absolutely nothing except for play GTA: Vice City, and watch the Pats game. It's about time they broke out of that losing streak and put some points on the board. It didn't hurt they were playing against their old QB either. And to top off the day we got some Chinese food and just relaxed for the rest of the night. Sunday's are my favorite day of the week, and I almost wish everyday was like that. It's too bad I've got that whole school thing to worry about now.

Did you see the live show on Web Cam Girlfriends last night? If not you can catch the archives here!! It was amazing and you really don't want to miss the next one!!

I really have to get back into going to the gym. I've been slacking for the last couple of months. That beer gut I finally worked off this summer is coming back, and I'm not really too happy about it. Once I get back into the routine it wont be a problem, but lately I've been so lazy that the last thing I want to do is go outside in the cold and work out. Maybe this week I'll get some energy and do something productive. Because if I don't I'm really going to be a fat fuck by the time summer rolls around.

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Did you catch the Sopranos last night? The chick that Tony is banging is fucking smoking hot!! If any one has any pictures of her naked send them over this way. I'll hook you up with some linkage if I post them.

I'm working on stuff in the background so I don't want to take up too much time here. So visit these random links and show them some love to.

I like it when the new month roles around because it gives me a chance to start over and have a nice clean page to work with. There's no chicks getting filled in all three holes, there's no lesbian action (although that will be up very soon), and there's no stories that are degrading to women. Each month I think to myself that maybe I should make this a nicer site, one filled with posts about how great women are. Then I take another deep thought and say fuck that, let's just continue the way it is.

Tonight I'm finally going to see Jackass the movie. I'm dragging the woman along, cause although she says she doesn't want to see it, I know deep down that she does. And then tomorrow we're going to be seeing Attack of the Clones at the IMAX in Providence. We were going to get tattoos also, but I couldn't come up with a design that I want on me permanently. We'll probably go again soon once we both have something in mind.

Are looking for best site run by women on the Internet? Then go check out Smithie Girls. It's run by two hot girls who are studies at the prestigious all girls college. They're running a smut contest, and since you chuckleheads love to look at smut, why don't you check it out.

To be judged by Editors On Top, best erotic story. It can be as smutty as you like, as long as it is postable.
Content to avoid:
Anything that will get us arrested for having on our computer.
Kid porn. PLEASE no kiddie porn. No incest, please. And please try and keep safe sex in there...
Winner gets gift certificate to "Toys in Babeland"...so get writing.
Submissions are due by Saturday, 2 November at 5pm. Submissions will be posted provided they are literate ;). IE, check your grammar and spelling! The winner (or winnerS, in case of tie) will be announced on Wednesday, 6 November at 8pm.

Please send all submissions here!!!

The fine ladies who run the site asked me to post this little PSA, so please send something in. They told me I'd be rewarded, so whatever they give me I'll post on the site. Click on these pictures here for a little taste of what's over there.

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I promise I'll post more tomorrow. The woman is sleeping over tonight so I'll post in the morning after she takes off for school. Here's some shit to check out while you're waiting.

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