March 2002 Post Archive

1. The Dick Sucking Girl - On our first night in Orlando we went out to dinner at TGI Friday's. Now I when I out go out to get drunk, a place like TGIF really isn't the spot that I pick. But hey, to each his own. Well while we were there, this pretty drunk chick comes over to our table. She starts talking about partying and shit like that, just being a happy drunk. Then she goes to the two girls at the table and says 'Ladies you need to suck every dick you can!' Obviously this chick loves the cock, which I wasn't complaining about. But after talking for about 10 minutes on why she likes to take the cock in her mouth, she proceeded to take a sip out of everyone's drink. She finally got bored with us, and went on the next table.... granted we all got new straws after that.

2. The Ass Sweat Guy - Once in awhile Wondergirl will talk about this new game called Dance Dance Revolution. I had never seen the game in person, and really had no clue what it was. On our last in Orlando we stopped over at the mall so Sarah's friend could pick up some tickets. On the way there was some dude playing this game. If you've never heard of it, it's basically this arcade game for white people. A series of arrows comes on the screen and you have to plant your foot corresponding to which way the arrow is pointing. Now this guy must have been playing for awhile cause he had the sweaty look and shit. But the one thing that the ladies noticed was that he had his huge ass sweat stain on his pants. I don't know about all of you, but if I lived in Orlando I wouldn't spend my days at FYE dancing around like a chucklehead. But too each his own I guess.

3. The Girls of UCF - For the last part of our Vacation we were spending time with Sarah's friends who go to UCF. I have to say that Sarah's friends are really the nicest people around. You can see a picture of nice they were to me over at Wondergirl. Besides letting me sleep on their couch and eat their food, they took us out and showed us around campus. Really nice chicks I'd love to transfer down there to hang out with them some more. Plus they're supposed to send me some fan signs shortly, so you all have that to look forward too.

So yes it was a great trip, and instead of living in the past it's time to start planning my next vacation. I've got some small road trips coming up soon, and I'll be sure to bring my camera to document the whole thing. 

Like I said before it's been a busy couple of days. On Monday night I went out on a date just to see if I still had it after being in a relationship for 6 months. I don't know, it was kind of weird though . The girl was nice enough, but just didn't really do anything for me. We basically went out for dinner, talked for awhile, and then I dropped her off. She invited me in, but I respectfully declined saying that 'I had some errands to run.' Which wasn't a total lie as I went out after I dropped her off. She goes to an all girls school here in my town, and I'm not sure how I feel about that either. I don't want to have the reputation of just dating chicks that go to all women's colleges. 

I'm actually not even sure if I want to date right now. Like I doubt that there's any chance of me and Karen seeing each other, let alone getting back together at all. But that doesn't mean I should go out and fuck every girl that I meet. I'm probably going to take some time off, save some money, and work on getting my shit together. 

I guess there's still some small chance that I'll see Karen again. She has my spare keys still, and I called her the other day to see if she could mail them out to me. I probably could have picked them up, but I want to give her some space and shit, so I figured mailing is the best option. Maybe it was a mistake, but whatever, I'll just have to live and learn. If I go to check the mail tonight and my keys are there, then I'll now it's really over for good. The really bad thing is I get to drive right by her school every Thursday night on the way to my drunk driving class. So each Thursday I'll get to reflect on how I fucked things up with a really great girl.

Last night was the highlight of this week so far, seeing as how I got to Kevin Smith live and in person. It was a fucking awesome lecture and was totally worth the drive there. If I didn't have my class on Thursday night, I'd be going to that one too. Basically it was 4 hours of Q & A. I swear to god that I didn't stop laughing the entire time. I'll write a play by play of events later on today.

Every once in awhile I'm pretty happy that I run this site. Besides being a place for people to vent out their frustrations over the opposite sex, look at free porn, and other shit, I get in touch with some pretty cool people. I've been talking with the guy that runs Shot at Home lately. He runs a site chock full of amateur videos. Whether you're looking for a soccer mom who loves the butt plug, or a little bondage, this guy has everything. Besides having a classy site, this cat might even let me do a little commentary on some porn vids. Should be an experience to tell the grand kids about.

    For More Real Amateurs Click Here!

I've got a shitload of movies and some reader mail to post later today. Thanks again for all your kind words about the breakup of me and Karen. Even though most of you people are really fucking retarded, the few of you that actually have brains make up for it.

In the other big news of the night me and Karen broke up again. Although I don't think some quote from Chasing Amy is going to get us back together this time. It was a kind of mutual thing, but I can't say that I'm totally happy about it. Karen was, well is a great girl and I wish her the best with everything that she does. I've got no regrets and stuff like that, but when any relationship ends it's always a little disheartening. Especially when it's with a girl as hot as Karen. But hey I can either sit around here and feel sorry for myself, or move on and make things better.

Which is exactly what I'm going to do. Now that I've got my license back, I'm not stuck at my house anymore and I'm not dependant on anyone. I can start going to the gym again on a regular basis, hit on some of the Harvard Honeys in Boston, and do all the stuff I haven't been able to do in the last 45 days.

So as you can see it's been a day of good and bad things. I don't really want to write too much about me and Karen breaking up, I'll leave that for like another time. But I can write about how I got the Oz first season on DVD. It's fucking awesome to watch the beginnings of this classic show. I'm already through most of it, and I'll probably finish it tonight.

Last night I saw Resident Evil and I thought it was pretty good. Probably catch Blade 2 sometime this week. When I started this update I thought I'd want to write more, but now I'm just not really in the mood. Check back tomorrow and you'll get to see some pictures of my vacation and I'll write more about the girls of UCF and Weston. I promise I'll be more upbeat and shit.

Karen and I Got Back Together - Of course this is the biggest and best thing to happen. There was a point that I really didn't think we were going to get back together at all. She was pissed at me, and normally when a girl is as pissed off of she was there's fixing it. Luckily she still felt something for me, and I'm wicked happy that she gave me another chance. You notice I don't really bitch about her like I use to with my ex-girlfriends the whole reason because she does make me happy, and has done so much shit for me just over this last month. What other girl would schlep my ass to the post office, bank, and watch Indiana Jones with me? 

I Can Drive in Less Than a Week - These last 45 days went by a lot quicker than I thought they would. But by the time I get back from Florida I'll be able to drive again. I think not having a license caused a lot of the strife in me and Karen's relationship. Hopefully with me having it back it'll reduce some of the arguments that we've gotten into lately. Plus I'll be able to see my peeps at Hampshire and drive myself at the gym.

I've Got a Plan - After my series of recent fuckups, I've decided that it's time to start something and finish it. I'll be going to UMASS next year and I'll finally be graduating. After that, the sky is the limit. I'm not sure if I'll have time to continue the site, and instead of passing it on to some one else who needs a new girlfriend I'll just retire and move on. IWANG has been good to me, and I'd hate to see some chucklehead ruin it's good name. I'm not really sure how good it's name is though.

Vacation Links

- Digital Caffeine - Class or Sex - Wondergirl - Internet Gossip - How Many Beers? - Stile Project - Dr Bizzaro - Priceless 420  - Ogrish - Whatever Dude - Jerk Index - Adult Series - X-Entertainment - 

Those are some sites that should keep you entertained while I'm away. If not there's me and Sarah's vacation blog which will probably be updated semi-frequently. Speaking of Sarah, I think it's pretty classy that she's letting me come down and spend the week with her. Not too many people would do that for a porn webmaster. She's a wicked nice person, and you should all go visit her site and say hello.

Ever wanted to see real amateurs making videos in the privacy of their own home? Well check out Shot At Home and you'll have an ample selection to choose from. Basically there's a plethora of videos to choose from featuring some pretty hot chicks. Hopefully in the future I'll be working with him to offer you people some giveaways so look forward to that once I'm back in Massachusetts. 

Site Stuff

- Message Boards - Personals - Random Porn - Image Galleries - Flash Stuff - Top 50 Sites - Old News - Really Old News - 

Hopefully some other shit to keep you busy. There's going to be a lot more shit to add once I get back. Of course there will be pictures of me in various stages of consciousness, among other good pictures. I've got my digital camera and I'm pretty sure Sarah has hers. 

 Porn Links

Adult Flics - Amateur Girls - Asian Peaches - Bad Girls Club - Fucked Up Fetishes - Gang Bang Girls - Girls & Animals - Latex Teens - Leg Lovers - Amateur Pie - Anal Valley - Big Cock Sex - Cheerleader XXX - Gang Bang Girls - Girls Get Crazy - Lesbian Whores - Porno Ground - See Asians - Sport Girls XXX - Ultra Videos - Voyeur Girls - 

There's enough porn there to keep any avid masturbator happy for a long time.

Last night was my first in a series of 16 drunk driving classes. It wasn't bad, and I'll totally be able to breeze through it. I got to stand up and tell my drunk driving story to the class which was as fun as giving those oral presentations in middle school. But hey, I fucked up and now I've got to pay the price.

I think that's just about it for the updates. Karen is coming later tonight and then we're going to pick up Sarah in the morning. We'll be heading off for Bradley around 10 and my flight leaves at 12:30. Every one have a good spring break, and send me some mother fucking email.

I've got nothing new to talk about, so how about some AOL Personals.

For All We Have - If I was going out with this girl and we got in an argument she looks like she could kick the shit out of me.

Metallica! - I LOVE ROCK AND HEAVY METAL!!! like MetallicA (MY ALL-TIME FAVE), Iron Maiden, Sabbath, Ozzy, Megadeth, Disturbed, GodsmACk, AC/DC, Judas Priest, G 'n R, Queen, Aerosmith!!! ROCK AND ROLL 4EVER!

Looking For Pleasure - This chick's picture looks like one of those stupid Glamour Shots staged photos. Which means one of three things. First it's a fake personal which is probably the most likely possibility. Second the picture is when this girl was like 18 (she's pushing 30 now.) Or finally this lady is so desperate for a date that she has to have her photos doctored in order to have some loser pick her up through the personals.

Looking For Some one - I have a feeling this lady is going to be looking for a very long time.....

I sometimes think that my life would make a great movie. About a year ago I use to go into this local Mobil everyday for smokes and a coffee. There was this girl usually working, and since I'm a friendly guy I made polite conversation with her. It wasn't like I was trying to get in her pants, because my first impression of her was that she was a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. She had all the characteristics, but she was nice enough to me so I didn't care if she munched the carpet.

Well, after a couple of months of going in there she would start giving me free shit. Free coffees in the morning and crap like that. I thought nothing of it, until one night I pumping gas and she ran out and asked me to move her car. I didn't really care so I moved it across the parking lot. Now when I went back in to give her the keys back she asked me out to some Irish supper. I've never been good with rejecting girls, and even though I had a girlfriend at the time I said I'd go. I think the whole reason that I agreed to it, was because I was in total shock that she liked the penis. I had her figured for a strap on a plastic dildo and fuck her girlfriend type of woman.

So the Saturday came and went and I never showed up for the date. Like I was going to blow off my girlfriend to hang out with some manly women? I don't think so. I stayed away from the Mobil for awhile and actually have only been in there like once or twice since the incident. Now granted I've long moved on since this, and rarely think about this chick until something that happened the other day freaked me out.

This friend of mine stops in the same Mobil to get some gas and snacks. So when she goes up to pay, the same chick that I blew off starts talking about me. Calling me an asshole and shit like that. Now I know it wasn't the nicest thing in the world to blow her off, but JESUS CHRIST, move on with your life. I guess she still tells everyone about what happened like it was yesterday. If I had known that standing her up would have totally ruined the rest of this girls life, I might have sucked it up and just gone. But that's all in the past for me, and hopefully pretty soon for her.

Before I take off I do have to thank Priceless 420 for sending a shit load of hits this way. If you're looking for the biggest collection of priceless pictures on the Internet you don't need to look any farther. I've spent the last couple of hours just checking out the shit that he has to offer.

Free XXX No Popups

- Jerk Index - Free Pics Page - Fresh Teen Ass - Adult Series - Pussy Haul -

Speaking of driving my Mom had her own little run in with a driving mistake. As she was going down Route 28 on the Cape some fucking chucklehead plowed into her car. She's all right and shit, but the old Corolla is pretty fucked up. Maybe she'll end up getting a new car out of the deal. I guess they gave her a pretty awesome rental car for the time that they're trying to fix her old POS. So like wish my mom luck and shit.

I have no clue what to write about tonight seeing as how there's nothing really new to report. I added some more Reader Mail, but that's about the extent of new shit. I probably shouldn't even bother trying to post something witty and funny tonight and just skip right to the porn. 

- Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - 

- Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - 

Two perfect girls naked and groping each other... It doesn't get any better than that. If anyone has had any threesomes in their past and feel like telling their story to the people that read the site, send it in. I've had one threesome in my past, but it wasn't really my finest moment. Maybe I'll write about it when I've got some more motivation.

In my 23 years on this Earth I've gone out with pretty much every type of girl. I've gone out with high maintenance princess type chicks, girls who spread their legs for anything with penis, God worshipping prudish Christians, among others. The only thing that I'm limited in is that I've never gone out with a girl who wasn't white. I guess somewhere deep inside of me I've always wished that I bang a black chick. There's something about that ghetto booty that really turns me on. 

- Black - Black - Black - Black - Black - Black -

Yeah, now that's the shit I'm talking about. I'd just find one of the folds and start fucking away. You know a big momma like that knows what she's doing in bed. Of course I'd only be able to do her doggie style, because her on top of me would likely crush me and ruin any chances of making little Jacks in the future.

 I'm always trying to add new things to the site, because (I can't believe I'm saying this) sometimes naked chicks can get kind of old. Well, naked pictures of chicks... So what I want to do is add some music stuff to the site. In particular I'd like to showcase some underground talent and maybe give some bands some exposure. So if you a band, a couple of kids jamming in your basement, or just some chicks with Mohawks, send in your MP3s. If you're good I'll post it here on the site along with your website address. It's not like you've got anything to lose, so give me some good music.

- Pages of Rage - OMG? WTF? - Some Dude Named Coyne - 

I've got my first drunk driving class tomorrow night. I'm not really sure what to expect, but from what I understand I get to tell some of my old drinking stories. I wonder if I should start off by telling them the time I got stuck in the woods and the cops had to drag me out. Maybe I'll show them the scar on my eyebrow and tell them about how I have no clue where I got it from. I'll probably just end up kicking my feet up and listening to a bunch of other people tell their stories. I'll let you know how it goes though.

Who's the hottest porn star? Gauge of course!

I still need some hot broads for the cam portals. So if you want to be gawked at by teenage boys who don't get laid send me an email or an instant message. I'm heading off for now, but I'll post some more shit tomorrow and then a huge update for when I go away.

We found a semi-quiet part in the bar and did some talking. She said she wanted try again, because there was something worth saving and that we needed to remember why we started going out in the first place. I told her I was willing to give it a shot and see what happens, so we bailed out of there and went back to the 'futon of love' and made up in great style. So we've got another chance to make things work. 

I never really talked about our relationship too much on this site because I didn't want too much of my personal life up here. But since the whole reason I started this website was to have people learn from my mistakes, I figure why not let it all out there. Here's what to do if you don't want your girlfriend to break up with you.

1. The Tests - I think every guy knows the tests. The first one is a simple one and can be tried on the first date. Basically you open her car door and let her in. If she doesn't reach over and unlock your side, then you're allowed to boot her out of the car and drive away. Any girl that can't make the effort doesn't deserve to be going anywhere with you. The second test is for the brave guys, and should only be performed after you've been going out for awhile. After having some earth shattering sex, fart in your hand and cover her face with your now stinky palm. Of course she'll squirm around and try to get away, but if after you've subjected her to this torture she stays in bed you've got a keeper. If she runs out of the house putting her clothes on while running out, then it was never meant to be.

Another farting test you can do is the tent-a-fart. Almost the same as the cup-o-fart, but this time you cover her in the blankets and proceed to blast away. This works the best after a night out in a shitty Mexican place. Again the same rules apply... If she stays then you've got a winner, if not go on to the next one. There are other known tests, such as the 'sniff test' and the 'peeing on the girls leg in the shower' test, but I don't think I need to get into those.

Now you're probably wondering which of the tests I did on Karen. Of course there was the lock test, which she passed, otherwise we never would have made it to like 5 months. A told her about the two farting tests, so I kind of did my own variation of it. I wont go into great detail, but I'll just say that for a minute or two, I wasn't sure if she was coming back. Oh yes one more thing, shoving your armpit into your girlfriend's face isn't a good idea either.

2. After bailing you out of jail, don't start yelling at her - Since I don't remember any of this, I'll just have to go by what Karen told me. I guess after I was released from Cape Cod's version of OZ I started yelling at her when she asked me for directions back to the motel. Here's my advice to all of you out there. If your girlfriend is willing to pick your drunk ass up at a police station after you've been arrested for OUI, then make sure you're the nicest fucking guy to her after that. Take her to dinner, buy her some flowers, just do something to show her that you care. Otherwise she might try and call her friend who is three hours away to come and pick her up. And just from personal experience if you try and get some that night after finally getting back to the motel, it's probably not going to happen.

I'm sure there's more shit that I'm forgetting, but it'll come to me. All I know is that she gave me a second chance, and now it's time to turn over a new leaf and make I don't fuck too much anymore. We're both young, and we both made mistakes, but she makes me happy right now, and things look pretty good.

I would like to thank all the people who sent in emails and submissions. You can read all their letters with my responses here. A lot of them cheered me up when I was feeling down, so thanks again. If you feel like you've got something to say, send in an email or submit something.

I added a bunch of hot girls to the Cam Portals, but I still have plenty of open space. So if you're a cam girl or know a cam girl send me an email and if you're hot I'll add you to the page. Sending in pictures of you half naked wont hurt either.

- Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - 

- Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - 

Besides talking about my reunion with Karen, there's really not that much new to go into. By this time next week I'll be in sunny Florida getting My St. Pattys drink on. I really looking forward to hanging out with Wondergirl, as I've only seen her once since I lost my ability to drive. Plus we'll be meeting many Internet celebrities while we're down there. I'll try and leave you with a huge update for the week that I'm gone.

Ever wanted a list of strange sexual law? Well now you've got one! Make sure that the shit you're doing to your girlfriend is totally legal in your state. Here's some pics of something that is probably totally illegal in every state. Of course what are the coolest things in the world? Naked girls and monkeys! And here's what happens when you put the two of them together.

- Ape Pics - Ape Pics - Ape Pics - Ape Pics - 

- Ape Pics - Ape Pics - Ape Pics - Ape Pics - 

As I'm writing this update there are close to 4000 members of this site. Which I think is pretty fucking cool. I know the only reason you people sign up is so you can see the Image Galleries, but you guys do post personals and comment on some of the posts. I never would have thought that when I first started this site it would ever get this huge. Shows you what a shit load of porn and bitching about women will do to your hit count. So if you guys keep visiting, I'll keep writing and we all can be beautiful and unique snowflakes.

Random Nasty 80's Porn

- Nasty - Nasty - Nasty - 

All the old news is back here so if you're looking for a certain post you should be able to find it there. I might post some more later, but don't hold your breath or anything.

But if any good does come out of this whole thing, it'll be that it gives me time to reflect on what I did wrong in this relationship and try and fix it for next time. I plan on taking a good couple of months off from dating and maybe that will give me some time to fix what's wrong.

It also means that there is more time for this site which I guess is a good thing. Everyone said that I was much better when I was single, which is probably true. When you're getting sex from a hot chick on a daily basis, you're motivation to sit in front of a computer and type out meaningless words is a lot less. With my new found free time I'll use it to search for better porn and write better stories.

If there's anything else you want to see on this site let me know. I figure there's enough shit already to keep people entertained, but I can always add more. My favorites in no particular order are:

1. Personals - I wish more people would use this feature of the site. I'd like to think that maybe in a couple of years there will be as many personals as Yahoo or even AOL. I figure my personals are free, and there's got be a couple of girls that read the site.

2. Random Porn Image - Another site thing that I'm really proud of. I know it's not much and every site and their mother has one, but I like it.

3. Message Boards - Ever wanted to talk with the people that read the site? Well you've got your chance. Granted there's some fucked up people, but that Kinduism chick usually keeps them in line.

So that's where I spend my time when I browse around on my site, but if there's something you've seen that you want added, just send over an email and I'll add it.

Image Galleries

- Kirsten Dunst - Katie Holmes - Ali Larter - 1000s of Free XXX Pics -

Last night Karen broke up with me. It wasn't the worst break up I've ever been through, but it still sucks. Karen was really great and put up with a lot of my shit. But the story isn't really over yet. She still has my car, and she's got a couple of choices. Basically she can drop the car off at my house while I'm at work, and that'll be the end of it. I'll know that this breakup is for good, and I'll move on. You'll never have to read about us, or see us on cam or anything. But there's a little twist to all of this. If she decides that maybe there some hope for us, I'll see her at 5 with my car. It really could go either way, but of course I'm hoping for the second option.

Me and her really had some great times together, and I know I'm going to miss her a lot. I don't really want to say that I'm going to move on right away, cause I really don't want to. What I never understood about breakups is why two people have to hate each other once it's over. You know, it's like at one point you were totally in love with each other, and the next day you hate each others guts? It doesn't really work that way with me. Sure at first everyone gets bitter, but you can't let that rule your emotions.

And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds.  Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after this morning, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.

A quote from my favorite movie that really means a lot more to me now. So Karen if you're reading just know I do love you, and I am changed for the better because of you. I wont forget the good times we had together and maybe if there's that moment of hesitation we can work something out..... If not though, then I want only the best for you.

So that's enough of the sentimental stuff for you guys. I'll let you know what happens later tonight.....

Long Weekend (12:00PM EST) Jack
As you can see I've been let loose from my hostage situation over at Hampshire. I can honestly say though, that you have never lived until you've been hanging off a ledge duct taped to a plastic goose. Since I'm over that traumatizing experience I think I can put together a quality update for you. 

This weekend was jam packed with excitement starting off with a little road trip to Boston. The last time I went up there I ended up getting lost and ended up by the harbah. Luckily this time we were a little better prepared and made it to our destination without too much trouble at all. I think eventually I'd like to live by the city seeing as how there's a million more things going there than here. Here in Western MA shit closes like at 8 o'clock and forget about getting food after a trip to the bar. If you're lucky you might be able to find an open chinese place, and I guess there's always Dominos. 

I think the most memorable moment of the trip was when we were on our way down to the T. On the ground was a detached raw chicken foot. Now this brings up a few questions. First, why the fuck is there a raw chicken foot on the ground? And second WTF happened to the rest of the chicken? I try to think too much about that though, otherwise I'll give myself a fucking headache.

Saturday night was another classy night over at Hampshire college. I always have a fucking awesome time when I'm there, and now it's less than two weeks until me and Wondergirl take off for the sunny state of Florida. It's exactly what I need right now, and I can't fucking wait to get on that plane. 

I'll post more crap later after I finish peeling all the duct tape off myself, so check back later.