February 2002 Archive

I'm going to be starting a new site this weekend. I'm not sure exactly what's its going to be about, but I'll come up with something. Look for it on Monday at the latest. I figure with Karen gone for the weekend, I should do something productive with my free time. Hopefully there's going to be another Horror Movie Marathon on Friday night over at Hampshire which is always a good time. 

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I'm bored as fuck and have nothing to talk about today. I did get a lot of positive feedback on my guide to get over any girl. As long as I can help one guy that's had his heart shattered by some broad then I guess I'm doing my job. It's so fucking retarded, but breaking up is the worst feeling in the world. And to tell you the truth it doesn't make any sense to me. In my past I've been dumped, and although it does suck, eventually I got over it. All it takes is time my friends, and maybe sleeping with a couple of new girls wont hurt either.

In all seriousness though, time is the thing that heals all wounds. Back in the day me and this girl were going out and everything was perfect. We got along great, had super-sex, and there was no strife at all. I honestly thought she could be the 'one' or that we would be going out for a long time. But like most relationships do, it ended, and it ended pretty badly. And after it was over I was a wreck. I thought about her constantly, wondering what she was doing, who she was fucking, and if she still thought about me. Of course non of this shit did me any good, and just made things worse for me. 

Now flash forward a few months from the time we broke up, and I was totally fine. You want to know why? Because I didn't care anymore. She had faded from my memory and I had moved on. Time had made everything alright, and I didn't feel like shit anymore. So for all of you people getting out of relationships, remember it will get better, and there all plenty of fish in the sea.

- Random Porn Image - Image Galleries - Relationship Forums - 50 Other Porn Sites - 

Stacey writes: Hi Jack,
Hi my name is Stacey and I have been a big fan of your site for a long time. I just wanted to know what kind of woman would make you start a site like this. She must have either been a huge bitch, or maybe just traumatized you. That's all I wanted to say, so keep up the good work.

P.S. When can we see you naked??

Chances are you probably wont see me naked again. I might put the Jack and Karen galleries back up at some point, so maybe you can check me out there. I guess the girl that gave me the idea for the site was like any needy controlling girl. I needed a place to vent at the time, and it's grown into what you've seen here. It's not the most PC website, but hey it works for me. 

Tony writes: Hey Jack,
Dude my girlfriend doesn't like to have sex. Every time I'm in the mood I almost have to beg her for sex. Then while I'm giving her the old in out in out, she has this bored look in her eyes. I don't know what to do, can you help me?

You have to shake things up in the bedroom in order to make things better. It also sounds like you've lost the control in the relationship. If you're over there begging for sex she now has the upper hand. And trust me, I know about losing the control. So the next time your girlfriend lets you invade her, flip her over doggie style. Then while you're going at it, take your dick out and shove it her poop shoot. It's guaranteed to take the bored look off her face, and now since you've violated her, the control is back again. Let me know how that works out for you.

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Ass & Titties (12:00PM EST) Jack
Hey everyone it's hump day, so go out and get yourself a piece of ass. Karen is hopefully coming over, so I might have a chance of getting some today. It's been a pretty hectic week, but nothing really new to tell you. I went out played some pool last night, which is like the only thing that calms me down. It's pretty relaxing to see hot waitress chicks walking in skirts short enough to see what color their panties are. I figure I better hone my pool skills incase this whole college thing doesn't work out and I have to hustle people for their money.

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Well I'm set to go off to UMass next year. I filled out my FAFSA shit and got all my records submitted. I think it will be cool going to an actual college instead of these little schools that I've been going to. Plus I think the size of the campus is bigger than the town that I grew up in. 

Search Engine Keyword Fun!

When I don't have anything new to talk about, and I don't want to link the porn right away, the best thing to take up space is search engine keywords. Here's some of the best ones so far this week.

Jack and Karen Naked - It's amazing how many times this one came up. What I'm most surprised is that that they included my name in the search. It's like how many people actually want to see me naked?

Bangbus Videos - Yep there's a couple in the downloads section, but you can find the rest here.

scat + girl site:com.cn - Try Stile Project

News Time

Computer Chip To Be Implanted In Skin - This is the beginning of the end people. If you thought Big Brother was watching you before, wait till he can track your every move. Sure at first it's just going to be used to locate kidnap victims, and safe people's lives. But when the police department wants to keep an eye on paroled convicts, or even use it on the general public it's going to be trouble. And who will draw the line as to who has to wear one? Will some one that's a repeat offender be forced to wear it, even though he paid for his crimes? 

I'm not a religious person, but I did go to church for 18 years so I know a little bit about the bible. There is supposed to be a Mark of the Beast which will signal the coming on the anti-christ. Now I don't really believe in this stuff, but when it's crammed down your throat for years you pick up a little about it. So here's a site that predicted this shit a few years ago. Now I'm not really concerned about something rising from hell and casting our souls into eternal damnation, but the thought of these religious nuts going around and killing people with this chip kind of scares me. We've all seen in the past the shit these people do in the name of 'God' and I wouldn't put it past them to do something again.

- Mark of the Beast - Mark of the Beast Patent? - 

Image Galleries

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I found out that one of my ex-girlfriends is getting married in a few months. Which is pretty fucked up considering we're the same age and shit. Now I'll be 24 in September, which to me doesn't seem that old. I still party at least three times a week, and I still do all the shit I did when I was 18. But I guess I'm getting to that time in my life, when I should think about settling down. Most of my cousins are married with kids and doing the real world thing. 

I guess I'm further along than I thought I would be. When I was like 19 my biggest goal was moving from one position in the restaurant to the next. I didn't have a care in the world and my biggest concern was which bar I was going to go to at night. Now I've got bills, court appearances,  and school to worry about. I guess it's good though, I don't want to spend my whole life picking up bar sluts and shit.

More shit to come later so keep checking back and visit these fine sites.

- Priceless 420 - Ernie's House of Porn - Internet Gossip -

Last night I started phase one of making a change. I went over to an actual bookstore, it was like the first time in about 5 years. Not much has changed since I last stepped foot in one of those places, but I was still taken aback but the amount of books and shit. So I picked up some reading material, and some learning books. I figure instead of staring blankly at the television screen before bed, I'll crack open Spike, Mike, Slackers, and Dykes. It's like I can only watch the same OZ episode so many times during one week. So no more late night Skinemax porn, it's all about the reading.

I'm also going to start doing some investing and shit. So all you stockbrokers that read the site should send me in some tips. I don't have a ton of money to start off with, but I figure in a few years I should be able to big up some big bank. Or maybe just lose it all knowing my luck. But it's worth a shot, and there's money to be made so I'm giving it a try.

Wanna see the coolest thing in the world? Sarah sent me this picture where you have to try and figure out what is wrong. It's totally fucked up. I started at the thing for like a minute before my ADD kicked in, but once I really concentrated on it I figured it out. Turn your speakers on to, it'll probably help you.

Click Here To Try and Figure Out What's Wrong!

Like flash stuff? There's lots in the downloads section!

It's time to bring back my favorite section of the site.... Where we take a look at some of the personals of chicks in my area and I show you how slim the picking are around here. It sucks that AOL got rid of their free personals, so we cant actually harass the girls, but at least you can still see how bad they are.

Tomboy Girl Seeks Athlete - Holy shit! There's actually a half way decent girl living in the same town as me. Who would have thought that? As you read farther though it looks like she's originally from Jersey, and only going to school around here. And since there's only one college in South Hadley that I know of, chances of getting in her pants are pretty unlikely. She probably goes to Mt. Holyoke College, and we all know that's a second rate school compared to Smith.

Just a Girl..... - Wow, that looks a helluva a lot like Carmen Electra. Think that personal is fake?

Hey There Hottey - I'm actually pretty sure that I went out with this girl at one point. At least I can sleep at night knowing that she's trying to find love online, and nice and happy with Karen.

Cutie In College - Here's another semi-decent chick. It's too bad that all these girls just go to school around here. And she likes roses, what a fucking surprise.

Hideous Freak - At least she's honest.

Goofball Smith Student - Hey I wonder if Karen knows this chick. Maybe she can finagle a threesome cause that girl is H.O.T.

You know, going out with a girl that's just here going to school is a little different than I'm used to. Back home on the Cape everything was the opposite. The summers were the busy months, and everything was dead in the winter. Around here all the colleges are in full force during the winter, and in the summer it really slows down. The biggest difference is when trying to find a girlfriend.

Now on the Cape you totally wanted to be single during the summer. You've got tourist girls basically throwing themselves at you, and the last thing you need is a girlfriend clinging on your shoulder. But the key thing to do, is find someone pretty steady by the end of August. Because if you don't, it's going to be one lonely winter sleeping alone.

Up here it's totally the opposite. There's fucking tons of girls around on campus, and unless you're a total loser you could probably hook up at each party you go to. But once May rolls around and finals are down, your choices go back to Sally May the local farmers daughter. And although I've always had a thing about chicks in Daisy Dukes, the fantasy was much better than the reality. The farmers daughters' around normally dip more tobacco than I smoke, and can drive tractor trailers. The smell of cow shit isn't something you really want to fall asleep to at night.

Holy shit I've just been rambling on today. Here's some sites you should probably check out.

- Banged Up - Moral Apathy - Ogrish -

Holy Shit It's Knife Porn!

- Knife- Knife - Knife - Knife -

- Knife - Knife - Knife - Knife -

I like to think of myself as willing to try anything once, but I think if Karen ever pulled out a knife and started playing with near her cootch I'd be a little weirded out. And if she ever started playing with a knife near my goods, I'd totally have to kick her out of bed.

Life Sucks (12:00PM EST) Jack
Well last night was the season finale of OZ, and I have to say it was pretty good. There's a lot of buildup going on for a lot of stories which will probably carry over until next year. If anyone is feeling especially generous you can buy me the first season on DVD. I really doubt anyone will, so I'll probably just end up purchasing it when it comes out in March. Also coming out soon is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Another classic by movie god Kevin Smith, should be full of extra shit and I'm looking forward to picking that up.

I Want a New Girlfriend Reader Submissions

From: Munner
Subject: Ex-Girlfriends - What are they good for?
Ok, let me start by saying, I WANT A NEW GIRLFRIEND! Jack, you're happy now, but you know its not gonna last, it didnt before. I'm going through a bad break up right now. Technically we broke up over a week ago, but every time we talk we fight. You know why? Because I was right, and she was wrong. And she still doesnt realize it. I don't want her anymore. But I still love her and it will be a long time before I get over her. She still says that she loves me. But whenever she gets the chance, I'm pretty sure she tries to prove otherwise. I've worried myself sick over her. And I'm sick of it. I shouldn't be worrying, I'm the goddamn guy! I should be able to say Fuck it. She made me the happiest I've ever been. I wanted to fucking marry her. That's all. Johnny

Yeah dude I know where you're coming from. I haven't really had a serious enough relationship to consider only fucking one pussy for the rest of my life, but I understand the break up part. A few years ago I was in a wicked good relationship with this girl that I worked with. Everything was going perfect until her parents decided that I wasn't a good influence and moved her off Cape Cod. We tried to make things work, but in the end she though it would be better to break things off.

After she broke up with me, I went over to my friends house and basically got royally fucked up. What I didn't know at the time was that instead of her driving home, she tried to get in touch with me for the rest of the night to maybe patch things up. There was also a problem with my phone, so whenever she tried calling it was just busy. She left the next morning, and I never saw her again.

But you know it's probably for the best. We were just a couple of kids having a good time. After we broke up I went through the wondering what she's doing now phase. But you can't spend all your time worrying about that shit cause it's not going to do you any good. If you spend your whole time thinking about who she is spreading her legs for you, you'll drive yourself crazy. That's why I've come up with Jack's Guide to Getting Over an Ex-Girlfriend. This is hands down the best way to get over any girl.

It's almost the end of the month and I think it's time for me to make some changes. There's a lot of shit that I can't control, but yesterday there is some things that I can. I have to start eating better, and I have to go back to the gym again. I was actually doing really good until I had my run-in with the law which kind of fucked things up. But with a little determination I'll find a way to get back into it, because it was something I really enjoyed. So I'm going to get back into that to keep my mind off the shit that is my life.

I'm also going to pick up a new hobby. I realize I've got a ton of free time when I'm not working on this site or doing other shit. Maybe I'll learn a new programming language or maybe I'll just put puzzles together. Either way it'll be good and I'll actually be doing something productive.

- Latina - Latina - Latina - Latina - Latina - Latina -

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Added some cam girls to the portal page. Check out Astro XXX and Amy. Check them out they're both pretty hot. If you want to be added just send me an email. I had booted everyone off, so now it's time to bring some people back.

Good Sites

- She Will Be Mine - Class or Sex? - 1000's of Naked Sluts -

Have a site that you want me to link? Click here to have it added!

Free Image Galleries

- XXX Teens - Voyeur Girls - Naked in Public -

Lately I've got this thing for foreign chicks. Like that girl Lena from a couple posts ago and now this broad here.

- Hot - Hot - Hot - Hot -

- Hot - Hot - Hot -

If anyone knows this girls name, or where I can more pictures of her, just let me know. I'm done for a little while, but check back later for some new downloads and more porn.

For More Public Nudity Click Here!

40 Days and 40 Nights (12:00AM EST) Jack
It's Monday again so I guess I should post some shit. This weekend was pretty chill, just went to the movies and played some pool over at Boston Billiards. I'm looking forward to next weekend though, as an old friend is hopefully coming up to Western MA.

So they had a sneak preview of that new movie, 40 Days and 40 Nights. I have to say it's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Basically it's the story of this dude who after getting dumped by his girlfriend, decides to give up all sexual contact for Lent. Now it would be ok just give up the pussy (especially if you're not getting any), but imagine not being able to spank the monkey for 40 days? Shit it's tough for me to go a day or two without saying hello to my one-eyed monster.

But it does bring up an interesting subject. I could picture myself giving this little experiment a try. I think if me and Karen break up I'll go for it. That is unless some hot piece of ass is on my jock. Imagine the shit I could get done if I wasn't concerned about making my dick happy. I'd probably concentrate more on school, work, going to the gym and shit like that. Or I'd just be staring at every semi-decent girl that walked by.

I was thinking today about how much my life sucks. I guess not being able to drive to the store for simple things like smokes does that to you. Plus I feel like shit from drinking too much last night which I know has something to do with it. For the next 45 days or maybe longer I have no car at all. Which means that I'm dependant on my friends with cars. Ever since I was 17 I've had a car and I guess took it for granted. I guess I need something to shake my life up now. I totally need either a change in scenery, which means that Florida is going to be welcome vacation in March.

I seriously can't wait to take off with Sarah. I know I keep saying it, but it's going to be an awesome vacation. It's actually my first time going anywhere and I plan on taking advantage of every minute I'm in the sun. I mean people like me don't really get chances like this too often. Plus I get to hang out with one of the coolest chicks that I know.

I'll post more after I get some sleep.

One girl that would have forgiven me for anything was my last serious relationship before Karen. Since she probably still reads the site I'll call her Amanda to keep her anonymous. Me and her met when I first moved up to Western MA and since I knew absolutely no one it was a welcome relief to be able to go out on the weekends with some people my own age. In the beginning stages everything was cool as it normally is in the 'Honeymoon Stage.' We hung out, went to movies, and did the typical boyfriend girlfriend shit. Everything was cool, except that I wasn't getting the sex. This girl actually made me wait a month before she put out. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I wouldn't call it great either.

So once we started making the sex I was happy again. Except that in my orgasm haze I didn't notice the warning signs that I should have. At first it just started with her not wanting me to hang out with other people on the weekends. I didn't think much of this because I was getting laid and was happy enough just watching a movie and fucking her brains out. But then things slowly changed. She started getting more jealous, and more suspicious of everything that I did. I could barely go to the store without getting a phone call asking me where I was.

At about the 6 month period I ended up breaking up with her. She cried, and I caved... Kind of. She told me that all she wanted was a sexual relationship, and nothing more. Since I was thinking with little Sully, I came back and we were basically going out again. She was happy with me spending time with her, and I was happy that I was still getting some. This went on for about another month or two, and then the shit really hit the fan.

I broke up with her for good and told her that I didn't really want to see her again. For a little while everything was ok. But then I started noticing scary things. She would drive by when while I was walking to campus, or show up at the Dunkin Donuts where I went every morning. It got to be so bad that she was parked outside my house one night. I finally bit the bullet and went to seek legal action. I got a restraining order against her and for a week I was safe. I think after she was served she calmed down a little bit, and I've only talked to her a couple times since then. Last I heard she was getting married, which means I'm probably safe.

What I hope you people learn from my story is that you never know what's going to happen in a relationship. Maybe this is part of the reason I never seen to be able to stay in one for very long. Luckily I've had pretty good luck with ending relationships, normally just a hug and the classic line 'We'll still be friends.' Knowing full well that we wont be friends.

Sometimes I wish I could predict the future to see where I'm going to end up. Right me I'm wicked happy with Karen, and can only really hope that I make her happy too. Hey though, I could spend all day worrying about, but what good is that going to do?

- Cheerleader Pictures - Aria Giovanni - Girls Get Crazy -

A few weeks ago a friend and I went to a local psychic just for shits and giggles. I didn't really take much of what she said seriously, but now that I look back a lot of what she said ended up coming true. She told my friend that some one she knew would get an OUI. Which ended up being me. She also said that I would have a rough time up until the month of May which is when I hopefully get my license back. She did say that after May things would turn out really good in my favor, so I do have that to look forward to.

The Hottest Girl In The World

- Lena - Lena - Lena - Lena - Lena -

- Lena - Lena - Lena - Lena -

I tell ya, if me and Karen weren't together I'd purchase a one way ticket to Moscow and make that chick my wife. Her name is Lena something, but if I had my way it would be Lena Sullivan. Imagine that fucking kids that me and her could make?

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I Want a New Girlfriend Reader Submissions

From: Ruthless1
Subject: Fun times for the dead and their loved ones...:(

Was reading about someone hoarding dead bodies instead of incinerating them, like any quasi-normal, brainless, drooling, self disrespecting gravedigger would do, at some crematorium down south this morning...

The tremendously cool chap runnin' the (obviously inspection exempt) joint musta been nuttier than a heaping stack of ass born elephant logs or just dumber than dried vanilla pudding on a happy tards top lip because that nonsense is past fucking insane...

Its like a bad B horror movie starring some fucking heartless dipshit extraordinare that likes to fondle up and tickle dead folk or whatnot... classic insanity...

I mean, lets be honest here, either there was some mega-kookie fetish shit goin' down in there or the Peking fucking Palace had an extra special "SPECIAL" on sweet-n-sour carcass for the last few years. Yum. "Excuse me, waiter, can I have another plate of human head? Eay on the hot peppers and peanuts, Thanks."

COME ON! Every Chinaman knows dogmeat shares have been on the rise after the 11th. Most folks feel too bad right now to abandon Rover right now. Hence, if you'd noticed last time you ate chinese, there was definately less meat in your Moo-Shu-Person er pork, I mean pork...

ANYWAY, the point is these type of things make you take stock of pretty much nothing, get totally serious about absolutely zero and provide great jokes later on at the company watercooler/fax machine...

I know, I know, I'm going to "hell". Pshshshs, just as long as I get me a good seat...

If you've got a story you want to submit, just click here to submit your story.

I'm going to spend this weekend coming up with classy articles and other stuff so stayed tuned. If you're bored there's the chat room, message boards, and other shit to keep to you entertained. Oh yeah, all the old news got bumped back here.

There's really not too much to talk about today. Life gets pretty boring when you're not going to school, can't drive, and at the mercy of your girlfriend and friends to drive you everywhere. This weekend should be interesting as there's another webmaster meeting at Hampshire Saturday night. I'll bring the digital cam and take some pics for the site. Before we get to the good stuff let me throw out some links to people who have helped me out in the past and present.

Steak and Cheese -  A fucking classic site that has been around long before I started surfing the net. If you're looking for fucked up pics, videos, and games look no furthur.

Stile Project - I know it's clichéd but you have to respect some one who started a site about three years and has kept it constantly updated. And kept it constantly updated with good shit. 

Wondergirl - How could I go a full post without mentioning my favorite web mistress?

There's hundreds of other people that have helped me out with code, links, or pictures and I just want to say thank you to anyone who has ever led a helping hand. 

- Random Porn Image - Message Boards - Top 50 Sites - 

I should be getting my Liquor ID tonight so I'll probably go bar hopping for the first time in awhile on Friday. Of course they give you one those paper temporary ones which half of Western Massachusetts doesn't even accept. I should be able to find a couple of non-classy places that will accept it though. 

So Karen stayed over last night and we watched American History X. Speaking of Karen, people ask me all the time whether it's a good relationship or if we're happy together and shit. Honestly I can only speak for myself, but I can say I'm wicked happy. Karen has been my first serious relationship in awhile and I really lucked out. Sure we've had some minor problems, but it's nothing we haven't solved shortly after fighting. It's even pretty cool how we met. I'll rehash the story because I've got nothing else to talk about today. 

The first night we got together was actually the first night I met Matty B. Harrison. We were all hanging out at Wondergirls' pad and then decided to do some fan signing. I was a little reluctant at first, but after drinking 5 more beers I was ready to go. We walked up and down main st in Amherst filming chicks coming out of bars and holding up signs for our respected sites. 

We ran into Karen's group of friends and took some pictures and filmed some video. I can say I thought she was wicked hot the first time I saw her. In my inebriated state I managed to not come off as a total asshole and ended up getting her number later on that evening. She emailed me a couple of days later, we went out that weekend, and I guess you can say the rest is history. 

In the past I would normally complain about the girl I was going out with non-stop, but there's really not too much to complain about. Karen's smart, fucking beautiful, fun, and independent. I guess so she doesn't get a huge ego I should mention that she snores... very loudly. But that's about the only real fault that she's got. Right now she's helping me out big time by taking care of the car and taking me places I need to go. So yeah... I'm a lucky lucky mother fucker.

Enough with the sentimental shit lets get back to business. How about some jokes?

 - Dead Baby Jokes - Sex Jokes -

I'll post some black and polish jokes tomorrow so one feels offended or anything. Check out the new galleries.

- Aria Pics - Funny Pics - Fan Pics -

That's all folks... check back for more shit later on.

I added a ton of new shit to the downloads section. There's a ton of movies, flash animation, and fun games for you to check out while you're bored. All you have to do is sign up to be a member and you have full access to the vault. 

- Ass & Titties - Strange Flash - 

I'll be putting up new shit each time I find something, so there will always be something new to check out. If you've got anything that you want showcased here, just send me an email. 

Since this is a 'relationship' website, I figure I should probably do some relationship articles soon. Here's a good one to start off with though... Sexual Positions to spice up your love life. If you're sick of banging your girlfriend missionary style, then try out any one of these new ones. And if for some reason she doesn't let you, just kick her out of the bedroom because there are plenty of girls who will. Tomorrow's article will be on how I first learned about sex. Should be pretty interesting.

Buy Wondergirl Hair Extentions!

I always get tons of girls asking where they can find more information about me and how I started this site. Well ladies, here's your chance to find out everything you didn't want to know. Check out the updated About Me section with all the personal information you never knew you needed. I'm sure it'll be an eye-opener for everyone. 

- School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - 

- School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - School Girl - 

For More School Girls Click Here!

I Want a New Girlfriend Reader Submissions

From: Ruthless1
Subject: Ball warts? Have em do ya?
PEOPLE!!!:
If you have huge knobs of bumpy, gross mounds on your floppy sack you have ball warts. If you reach down to pee and your hand has to bang a right then a left then another right in order to get around a strange "speedbump" that cropped up, you have ball warts. If you're walking down the street and you hear someone whisper to someone else, "pssssst, I think that guy has an extra nut or something hokie", you probably have ball warts.

If the person about to suck your droopy beanbag requests a map due to a "serious terrain issue", you have ball warts. If they call you for a "ball wart" survey and you answer, "yes" to most or all of the questions, you HAVE ball warts. If a wart hog crosses your path and admires your disproportioned crotch area or perhaps even winks at you or offers to "go have coffee", you have ball warts, sexy ones apparently. If you go to the beach and someone grabs your dangling genitals hanging out the side of your shorts because they think that its a cluster of multi colored beach balls of fun between your spread legs, you have ball warts, BIG DISCOLORED ONES, see someone fast!

If you bang a 20 dollar whore for a 10 dollar rock in a dime store parking lot, you have ball warts without question. If you sat naked in the steam room in the same spot as Bill Clinton right after he left, you no doubt have ball warts. If you're driving down the highway an hour and a half away from home and you push out a fart that turns out to be quite a mushy mess, you don't have ball warts, but you sure do have a hell of a smell and clean up job when you arrive home. Not to mention an all new sort of, "fecal suspension" under you right there in your ruined undergarment. A smooth and squishy ride all the way, peoples.

But if the "National Ball Wart Association (NBWA)" gives you a quick ringie dingie one afternoon and lets you know they're voting you, "grand poo-bah ball wart highness", you most likely are sharing your marble holder with a family of ball wartage, my stupid friend.

Ball warts is a serious thing, and I hope this informative piece helped as many as possible. God bless us everyone!

Thank god for this information on Ball Warts..... I'll be back with more later so stayed tuned.

If you're looking for naked cam girls you should check out this site. It's a free registration and you get access to tons of naked chicks. If I didn't have to work or do other things that involved having a real life, I'd totally stare at these webcams. It seems like the girls on these cams are 10 times hotter than any of girls around here. So check out the naked broads and enjoy the show.

I added a couple of new cam girls to the portals, including Sara, Victoria, Shelly, and Christilina. If you're a chick and you want to be on the site, send me an email. I know it's not as popular as Stile's, but at least I wont call you a whore either.

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Free Pics of The Day

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- 1000's of Free Pictures With No Popups! -

Did anyone catch last nights episode of OZ? I have to say that although the beginning of the season started off a little weak, it's picking up some steam as it comes to the season finale. You know what would be wicked cool? If some one went and bought me the first season on DVD. I know if beg enough one of you get something for me. Plus if you do I'll post a shit load more of free porn.

I'm going to head to the gym and enjoy my last night of driving the car, but I promise I've got high quality shit coming up soon.

Poop Patrol (11:00AM EST) Jack
It's another Monday filled with fun filled action over at I Want a New Girlfriend. I've got some more midget porn, naked ladies, and sex stories for your enjoyment. But before I get to that lets look at the news.

Porn Free ISP Pulls the Plug - Why would you even bother trying to run a porn free ISP? The only thing the internet is useful for is getting pictures of naked girls anonymously. I guess when you've got a preacher as the Sys Admin, anything is possible.

Man Gives Girlfriend the Finger - What better way to say 'I Love You' then by sending your ex-girlfriend your middle finger. Imagine the shock when she opens your gift expecting to find chocolates, but finds the bloody finger that you used to put in her love whole. I only wish I had thought of that for Karen.... Oh well, there's always next year.

Enough of the news lets let to the good stuff. So this weekend was pretty chill, basically just hung around and didn't do anything productive. Sunday was basically the highlight of the weekend, me and Karen didn't roll out of bed until like 3 in the afternoon. If only every day could be Sunday. This week is shaping up to be a little more exciting as I have my drunk driving intake interview on Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to answering the shrinks questions and have them come up with some kind of psychological profile on me. I just have to keep reminding myself not to mention this website.....

Fan Pics Time

Our first series of pictures comes from Jen from Jen's Ex. She's a fucking hot chick who likes to get naked, so what more could you really ask for?

- Jen - Jen - Jen - Jen - Jen -

For More Naked Jen Click Here!

I also got some fan pictures from this chick here. She also told me that if I was ever in New York she'd do both me and Karen. I dunno though, I think her huge knockers would be just too much for me handle. I'd be scared she rest those things on my face and suffocate me or something. You can check out her pictures in the Fan Pics Gallery.

- Add Your Link - Submit a Story - Movie Downloads -

I posted a couple more midget videos in the download section so if you're into that stuff check it out. I'm also still not sure if midgets like normal porn or midget porn. So if you're a little person let me know what the deal is!

For Girls Sucking and Fucking in Public Click Here!

I'll be back with more interesting stuff just let my mind wake up first.....

Bang Bus Videos!

- Bang Bus Justine - Bang Bus Kate - Bang Bus Shannon -

For the Full Bang Bus Movies Click Here!

From: Jack
Subject: hey what kind of porn do you like?
Hey my name's Jack and I run http://www.iwantanewgirlfriend.com and I have a quick question for you. When you watch porn would you rather watch midget porn? Or would you rather watch normal porn?

I was just wondering whether midgets watch midget porn because they're like the same height, or if you're still down with normal size people porn. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

From: Jollydwarf
Subject: RE: hey what kind of porn do you like?
i like to bang all the porn womens

As you can see that wasn't really the answer I was looking for... I decided to delve deeper into the mind of a midget.

From: Jack
Subject: RE: hey what kind of porn do you like?
ok, what makes you hornier midgets or normal girls?

From: Jollydwarf
Subject: RE: hey what kind of porn do you like?
I like little women with nice big tight pussys

Ok we've now established that Beetlejuice likes small girls with big tight pussies. I guess that's counts as him liking midget girls. We emailed back and forth a couple of times before 'Beetlejuice' got a little upset.

From: Jollydwarf
Subject: RE: hey what kind of porn do you like?
this is not beet this is sean and this isnt bull shit, we dont have 1 porn banner p and neve will. do you think you are the only porn site
that asked for a link/? you're about the 900th

DAMMIT!! I wasn't even emailing Beetlejuice. I guess it would be to tough for him to stand on a chair and reach the keyboard. Well, it looks like Sean doesn't like IWANG. And I'm the 900th site to ask for a link. Well I guess when you're a pinhead, that last thing you want to associate yourself with is porn sites.

- Beetle Juice's Stats -

New Shit (2:00PM EST) Jack
It's another Saturday and it's time for some more classless shit. I watched that Bully last night and I have to say that it was alright up until the end. I think Larry Clark kind of chickened out and could have made it a little bit better. Oh well, it wasn't that bad, and I can't really diss it too much since I've never made a movie myself.

You might notice some small changes to the site, so let me know if anything is fucked up or not working properly. You can now rate the different articles that are posted here, so if there's some thing you don't like, tell me. It's a small change, but I kind of like it.

All the Downloads are for members only now. So if you want to see Cindy Salsa, Midget Porn, and all the other good stuff create an account. It takes two seconds and is well worth it. I'll be sending out members only emails shortly with links to special sections in the site that only they will have access too.

Weekend Porn

- Real Butts Video - Milf Masturbating -

For more videos check out Real Butts, and Older Ladies!

I was thinking about getting another tattoo this weekend, but then some one sent me in these pictures and I thought twice about it.

- Tat - Tat - Tat - Tat -

- Tat - Tat - Tat - Tat -

I think I'm going to vomit the pizza I just ate. How about some good image galleries....

- Girls Get Crazy - XXX Teens - XXX Latinas -

- More Public Nudity! -

So remember how I was wondering if midgets watched midget porn or regular porn? Well, no little people emailed me so I decided to go to the source. I emailed that midget that everyone loves to hate, Beetlejuice! He hasn't gotten back to me, hopefully he'll reply and he'll reply in English.

From: porass
Subject: Mom walks in
This happened to a friend of mine. She and her boyfriend were in her room. The parents were downstairs, watching TV. During that time, the boyfriend was banging her doggy-style. Good old clean fun. The mom goes upstairs to tell the boyfriend that when he needs a ride home he can just come down and ask.

The two love-birds hear the mom coming up and the girl jumps behind her bed while the guy "cleverly" goes to hide behind the door. The mom opens the door and speaks to the girl a while (she had just popped her head out from behind the bed). Then she notices she cant fully open the door.. She pushes a bit.... Then she walks in to see what's behind. And what's behind? The dude, totally naked trying to hide his willy.

The worst part of it is that he really needed a ride home that night. So he had to go downstairs and talk to the mom afterwards...

Nice stuff!

As good as that story is, it just doesn't really make sense. The mom knew that the boyfriend was there, so wouldn't she get a little suspicious when she opened the door and he was nowhere in sight? Plus the fact that the daughter is hiding behind the bed would kind of tip me off. I dunno maybe parents are just retarded these days, but if my daughter was upstairs with her boyfriend I'd be suspicious no matter what. The last thing I need is some chucklehead knocking her up.....

From Anonymous
Subject: One time I got busted
Me and a buddy of mine were hanging out at his house around christmas one year with our girlfriends...He grabbed me and took me in the back room and gave me a condom and told me him and his girlfriend were going to the bedroom, and for me and mine to do our thing on the living room couch. I wasn't going to turn down shit, so we started going at it, about 20 minutes later his mom pulled up in the driveway. I look up and see my buddy running out of his bedroom in a pair of boxers, cutting his mom off at the door. About the time his mom got to the door my girlfriend was running through the hall to the bathroom to get dressed, but his mom saw her and knew what was going on. She walked into the living room just as I was zipping up my pants. She wasn't the happiest person...knowing that my white ass was just fucking on her new couch....

If you've got a story or comment to submit click here and tell me the dirt.

So last night I'm over Karen's hooking up her cable, and what should come on but a special on midgets! I tell you midgets are the funniest thing in the world. After watching this story about how this Chinese midget wants to get taller by having a special surgery. Basically he's going to go from 4'1" to 5'2". I guess 5 feet isn't that bad, and you can lead somewhat of a normal life.

Once we got back to my place we went on a search for the Holy Grail, or XXX Midget Porn as it's more commonly called. After digging through the Internet and looking all over, this was the only porn we could find.

XXX Midget Fucking

Now I'm not really turned on by midget porn, but I'm sure there probably is a segment of the population that likes to watch little people getting stuffed in every hole they can find. I just find the shit funny as hell. As we were watching this classy video, we asked each other, 'Do midgets watch midget porn, or are they more turned on by regular porn?'

I would love to hear from any midgets that read this site, and answer that question for me. I would think that midgets like midget porn, but I could totally understand if they checked out regular porn also. But I'd like to get an answer from the source. Maybe I'll just email Beetlejuice.

I got this email which put a smile on my face.

From: Matt Austin
Jack, id like to say i admire you for the great work you do on this website. Its 1 in a million. Keep up the good work. Damn, i think more people should be buying you stuff just because of all the free porn you have. You are like a god! Good luck with the site in the future.

Matt-Austin.com

Well I wouldn't go so far as to saying that I'm a God, but probably pretty damn close. Yeah I wish people bought me more stuff to, so don't hesitate to buy me a gift or something. And if you don't want to buy me something, at least sign up for the really cheap advertising. It's always good to get emails like that, especially from some one who also runs a site. Makes me think that maybe this is all worth it. Of course maybe he's just kissing ass to get a link, but hey whatever works, right?

Valentine's Cake

Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl moistens
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results, continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn't soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:
1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.

If you missed the show last night on the webcam, I posted all the pictures in the image galleries. There's like over 200 pictures, so become a member and check them out. I'll also be adding the original Jack and Karen image gallery tonight or tomorrow with new pictures. I tell you I am one lucky bastard to be going out with this girl. She puts up with the Kevin Smith addiction, drives me around, and many other things too. If Cindy Salsa wasn't so hot, I might think of making myself a one woman man.

Sites I Like

- Slap Ass - Ratatak - Arrogancy -

Want some extra traffic to your website? Click here for info on how to get your site linked.

So it's like almost a month until me and Sarah go to Florida. This is going to be a pretty good trip considering it will be my first time on a plane, and my first time out of New England. I'm looking forward to meeting her friends and seeing Nay and maybe Chelle. And maybe if I'm lucky me and Karen will be taking a vacation sometime soon. I'm thinking another warm place like St. Thomas or Hawaii. That is if she can put up with me for an extended amount of time. We all know what happened last time we went on vacation. Maybe there will be a chick like this on my flight.....

- Plane - Plane - Plane - Plane -

Send me in some reader mail people. I want to hear about you fucking your girlfriend in an uncomfortable place, or some stories about how her mom caught you banging her doggie style. I know you people got these stories so send them in right away!

Valentine's Girl

- VDay - VDay - VDay - VDay -

- VDay - VDay - VDay - VDay -

That's it for now, but check back later as I'll have some more shit to look at. While you're waiting why don't you check out these other fine sections of the site.

- Old News - Personals - Random Image - Message Boards - Top 50 Sites -

Thursday February 7 - 2002 The White Boy is Back (12:00AM EST) Jack After a long overdue break the white boy you love to hate is back on the Internet. A lot of shit has gone down since I've taken a break and I'm here to tell you all about it. Click on the picture to your left for a full size version of what I like to call pure class. I'm sure most of you assholes out there will think I have faked it or just did it as a joke, but I can assure it's 100% real. During my trip to the Cape I got a little fucked up and got arrested for what people like to call drunk driving. Since I now have no car it gives me a little more time to update the site since I'm dependant on Karen picking my busted ass up. Either that or be one of those chuckleheads that walks around town everywhere. Of course I do have to walk most places, but luckily for me I've gotten rides a few times. I bet you people want to hear all about my run in with the law and at a later time I'll tell the whole story. But for right now I'll leave it at this; I got arrested, Karen bailed me out, I have no license. So now since that's out of the way lets get back to the good stuff. Here's some new and improved sections on the site for you to check out. Photo Personals - The best free personals on the internet are right on your favorite site. Just sign up and you'll have to beat the ladies away with a stick. How do you think me and Karen hooked up? She took one look at this face and couldn't control herself. And if it can work for me, just imagine how well you'll do. Image Galleries - Over 500 new pictures of hot babes, lesbians, and sexy teens. Just sign up to be a member of the site and you'll be able to jerk-off to the best pictures on the net. Random Porn - I don't think I really need to describe this..... Add a Link - Add your site to the ever growing list of links. I accept all submissions, so instead of emailing me, just add yours here. Top 50 Sites - Another great way to get some traffic to your site. That's enough shameless promotion of shit that I've done while being on vacation. Since I've been gone it looks like a lot of shit has changed. Class or Sex is taking a break, Internet Gossip is the best site on the net, and cam girls have stopped taking fan pictures for me. I think all you cam girls that I've supported over the last couple of years should send me some welcome back pictures, as I really need some cheering up. You know the address and I expect at least 10 by tonight. Here's some news that you may or may not be interested in. Since I have pay all these court costs and shit I am in some serious need of money. Therefore I'm offering a wicked good special on Ad Rates for the next few months. If you would like your banner in constant rotation on this site you can for the low fee of just $10. That's right only $10 per month. It's payable through Pay-Pal and I can your banner up the minute payment is received. Contact me with any questions. I'm going to go walk into town now, but I'll be back later seeing as I have no transportation. Also everyone go to this guys site.... He's generous to let me put some videos and shit there so I'll post some of those later on.