Things I Believe

Total Views: 23,395 Create Date: 10/22/2003 Number Votes: 8 | Average 3.88
By IWANG Donald 

I like big cars, big houses, and naturally big tits. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about appearing compassionate. I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. I think I'm doing better than the homeless. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or piss me off. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you work as an American citizen in an American store you should speak English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word freeze or stop in English. See the previous line. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would have been FIRED immediately.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount when needed. I know what the definition of lying is. I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else. I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny. I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks. I don't think that being a student gives you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package. I don't smoke but I will not tell you that you can't or charge you excessive taxes for you to enjoy that privilege I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake. I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh. I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them. I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude. I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev " Jessie Jackson reaches and besides what exactly is his job function.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue. I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent. I worry about dying before I get even. I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you. I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.

I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator box in East Dallas or sleeping in the streets of his/her home country. We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have. I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO". I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your living room. I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller. I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid. I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

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Your Comments
Comment By: Joe 11/15/2008 3:31:53 PM

Rating: 0

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Comment By: jimbone 9/7/2006 3:25:15 PM

Rating: 5

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Comment By: Mooch 1/20/2004 10:04:07 PM

Rating: 5

Absolute fucking class :D Nice one mate!


Comment By: Bob 11/19/2003 11:33:28 AM

Rating: 5

I was laughing so hard I had to quit jerking off!!!!!


Comment By: Cliff 11/10/2003 1:13:23 PM

Rating: 5

Absolutly incredible. This is the kind of stuff they should teach in schools.


Comment By: Howard 10/27/2003 6:52:57 AM

Rating: 0

Hey, Iwang Jack, I have never ever seen a more sophomoric pathetic disgusting display of trash, since I watched your mom make your dog cum in her mouth. Or was it the other way around? I mean, they both drank from the same toilet bowl.


Comment By: Dave 10/5/2003 10:52:00 PM

Rating: 5

Fuck an A, I'm gonna try the Dirty Sanchez tonight.


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