Six Tips To Avoid Getting Caught Cheating
|By Greg Lizardo|
We can act as morally righteous as we want, but the fact of the matter is that tons of people cheat on their partners. So if you're gonna do it anyway, you may as well do it right. You can never be 100% sure that you won't get caught, but you can at least minimize the odds of that happening by following these tips that will show you how to have your cake and eat it too.
1. Don't use your mobile phone to arrange meetings
One of the most common ways people get caught cheating nowadays is through text messages and call logs on mobile phones. Even if your partner doesn't suspect a thing, she may accidentally stumble upon your secret messages if you're keeping them out in the open in your message history, you stupid fucking idiot. Immediately deleting such messages is a smart move in itself, but it doesn't protect you against new texts or calls appearing on your phone while your partner is handling it. The only way to make sure that this will never happen is by buying a separate 'cheating phone'. Just make sure to hide it well.
2. Don't use your normal e-mail for cheating
Anyone who's been in a relationship for a prolonged period of time knows that e-mail really isn't all that private (in more ways than one, I might add). Your partner will sometimes use your pc and log into your account, and when she does, you better make sure she's not greeted by any compromising reading material! Similar to above, the best way to avoid this is by using a fake e-mail for your secret life. Don't think it can't happen to you because you're technologically savvy. After all, David fucking Petraeus got caught cheating on his wife because of an e=mail and he was the head of the fucking CIA. If it can happen to him, it can happen to you a hundred times over.
3. Use fake names for online profiles
Most of these tips revolve around strictly separating your normal and secret life and this one is no different. Lots of people who cheat use dating profiles and social networks nowadays. It may sound too obvious to even mention, but too many guys forget that their partners might accidentally or on purpose log into their Facebook account and uncover the whole truth. Don't be an idiot. Keep your social network profiles clean and especially don't use your real name if you're gonna go the risky route and create an online dating profile behind your partner's back.
4. Avoid sharing personal information with your mistress
Obviously this can be difficult, but it's definitely worth the hassle and the headache to keep your mistress as much in the dark as possible. A cool girl might turn psycho if the relationship turns sour and at that point you do NOT want her to know where you live, have your real phone number or know your partner personally. If you're cheating, you're already leading a double life. Go the distance and try to give yourself a new identity for your mistress(es). That way, if she ends up trying to fuck you over, she won't be able to destroy your real life.
5. Don't invite your mistress into your home
Not even if you think your partner isn't gonna be home for hours. You never know she may be home early one day and there's nothing worse than getting caught red-handed with your dick in some other girl. Plus, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, you're better off with your mistress not knowing where you live anyway. Renting a motel or going to her place to fuck is much safer.
6. Keep it quiet
The last tip is simple and straightforward: don't talk about your affair with anyone. Every person you confide makes it more likely that you'll eventually be found out. So don't brag to or ask for advice from anyone, no matter how much you trust them.
I can summarize all the above in one sentence: separate your normal and your cheating life and be really fucking paranoid.
Anyway. Not condoning cheating or anything (I would never!). But, just so you know..
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